The Power Of Recess

You can never tell where a much-needed break will take you

Photo by Ilene Bergelson

I can’t imagine a life of all work and no play. And yet there are times when work, even work I love, seems to take over. It is during these times, that I become most religious about recess.

What is it about recess? The ring of the school bell that became the indelible signal is a sound still fresh in my mind today. At the instant my class and I heard the school ring it, we had a visceral response: all sense of obligation and duty was shed instantly.

Today, I don’t have a bell signaling me to begin recess. As an adult, I myself have become the ringer and my instincts have become the bell.

Sometimes my recess lasts a few minutes or even the length of one, deep breath. Sometimes it is hours. I ring my recess bell several times a day, and when I don’t or I convince myself I can’t, whatever I am doing tends to suffer for it.

It was this knowledge that led me to pry myself away from the computer a couple Saturdays ago. Sometimes when you feel stuck, the best thing we can do is stop--and then move in a different direction.

So off I went, donning a mask and sneakers. (Pandemics being what they are, both were essential.) I walked for hours, mostly through Central Park. Oh, how I needed those trees! It took awhile, but I felt the life coming back into me. Eventually I sat on a grassy green, apart from others, under a young tree. I felt the breeze on my skin and the soft earth underneath me. Finally, I thought I was ready to move, but not yet toward home. I made my way to the garden instead.

Photo by Ilene Bergelson

There, in the beautiful Conservatory, ablaze with summer blossoms and foliage, I took out my phone (which had also been on recess). Its only job was to take pictures—including the one I’ve shared here. I stayed until just before closing.

It was a long time to be away from the projects that were awaiting me, and I resisted the mounting temptation to tell myself that the time I was spending was also leaving me less time for work. I reminded myself that recess would enable me to meet the pile that awaited me in a much better state.

I started to make my way home and decided I would walk south by going back into the park, to give myself a final, fortifying dose of nature. But Life had different plans. As I walked to the corner, I passed two people holding up a man who seemed to be only somewhat conscious. I stopped and asked if there was anything they needed. Though they seemed to have it well in hand and were already calling 911, something inside me said to stay.

These two lovely strangers, I came to learn, had only just met. The woman, Jackie, came upon a man, who was unsteady on his feet, and tried to support him to a nearby bench. She found she couldn’t do it alone and started asking passersby for help, but to no avail. That’s when Michael, who had just gotten off his bike, saw what was happening. Michael put his bike aside and called 911. While on the phone, Jackie and Michael each supported the man by his arms and helped him over to the bench.

Jackie and I kept the man company while Michael finished talking to the 911 operator and stood in the street to flag down the ambulance. We introduced ourselves, and tried to engage the man, who was conscious but quiet. The paramedics arrived and were wonderful. The man started to respond to them and we felt he was being treated with care, so we stepped to the side and got to know each other a bit. It was a unique moment and another lovely example of the beauty in strangers connecting over something unexpected.

What struck me was the cycle of each person inspiring the next. Jackie had been moved to act by the man needing help, Michael had been moved to act by seeing them and witnessing Jackie’s rejected appeals for help. I was moved as I saw them helping this man and then moved again to discover that none of them knew each other. Imagine my surprise when they thanked me for stopping by and keeping them company until the paramedics arrived. I had done nothing, as far as I could see.

I have come across many scenes like this one and I do not always feel the instinct to stay, once it is clear that everything is well in hand. Jackie and Michael had everything handled and yet I stayed. Why? It felt a little awkward, because I didn’t exactly know, except that I felt the instinct to do so. Thanks to Jackie and Michael and the appreciation they expressed, I learned that you don’t always know the reasons in the moment, but trust your instinct, even if it’s a little uncomfortable.

We wished each other well and Jackie went one direction, while Michael and I walked south together. He still had his bike, so I did not go back into the park to walk home through the grass as I’d planned, but had a lovely conversation over the next 2.5 miles along Fifth Avenue instead.

It had already been an evening of surprises, but there was one more about to surface: as we jumped from one topic to another, we landed on discussing theater and it turned out that Michael was staying with a director and producer I actually knew and hadn’t seen in ages! More than that, this kind man, Doug, told me something after an audition years ago, which has lifted me many times since.

I had read and received a callback for a special benefit performance of a play Doug was producing. The cast had some “names” in it, with one celebrity in particular. After a few rounds of auditions, the role I was up for came down to being between me and a friend of the celebrity. I was not cast and the producer had the tough job of telling me I didn’t get the part. He said, “Ilene, if you aren’t starring on Broadway in the next ten years, there is no justice in this world.”

Well, while there are far better measures of whether there is justice in the world than whether I ever starred on Broadway (I haven’t, though I am grateful to have performed there), I am ever grateful to him for expressing what he saw in me. Those words still make me smile today.

I never expected in a million years that my much-needed Saturday recess would lead to a WhatsApp reunion with the man who gave me a precious gift so many years ago.

Needless to say, the power of recess is real. When I got back to work, you can bet I was ready for anything.