Shouts Out To Grandma

Stealth Support We Won’t Realize For Years To Come

Photo by Vladimir Soares on Unsplash

For those of us lucky to have them, we come to count on grandmas (and grandpas) for all sorts of things: comforting when we need it, wise words from experience, extra swag on special days, and especially, respite from mom and dad (and vice versa).

Growing up, my grandmas represented good food and even better hugs. They were a warm welcome embodied, always happy to see me, no matter what their day had been like before. Both were single grandmas for most of the time I knew them. One of my grandpas had passed away before I was born and the other, shortly after. My grandfathers live on in the stories told by my family, and I’m grateful for having a relationship with them through those stories.

But my grandmas were a different story.

I have vivid memories of them and the way they answered my countless questions about the things in their houses (gently rescuing items from potential accidental destruction when needed), fed me until I was fit to burst, and listened to me ramble on about anything and everything.

What I didn’t realize was how they also supported my parents’ efforts for me to grow up to be a healthy, strong individual, who could live a full life, powered by my own gumption.

When did I realize that my grandparents contributed to my readiness for life in an uncertain world? Last week.

We were having our weekly team gathering. Two of our team members are grandmas. Active, vibrant, plugged-in grandmas. We always start our meetings greeting each other and checking in on how everyone is doing. It’s been a whole new level of checking in since the pandemic began, and last week, the subject of going-back-to-school and the lack of “going-back-ness” came up. Parents and grandparents alike on our team shared a collective eye-to-heaven and moan. Who knows what’s in store in just a few weeks? The moms in our group started sharing intel about what they were buying to get ready for this year’s virtual classrooms. Setting their kids up for success was looking a little different. The usual things that would give each child a sense of individuality, personal expression and anticipation about having something special for school (like a new backpack) weren’t going to be needed for virtual school.

It was when Rosie, one of our team members, spoke, that I had my A-ha moment. She bought each of her grandchildren his or her own desk, specific to their personality and needs. How brilliant, I thought. Not only does it give each child a dedicated workspace (and off the coffee or kitchen table where parents might have their virtual office), it gets them excited about school. They can explore their desk’s features, personalize it, and make it their own. Rosie explained that one of the desks had a pocket on the side, which would make it easier for that child to organize and retrieve what he needed.

I started to think about how instead of being excited to wear a new outfit to school on the first day, these kids could look forward to having their very own space set up for their virtual classroom experience. It seemed like the payoff from the investment would go a lot farther. It reminded me too, of childhood memories that inspired this monthly spotlight, where my mom employed an ingenious approach to an event that makes a lot of young kids cry. Making an event, even a challenging one, special, can change our experience, and our outcomes, completely. When I look back at memories I have with my grandmothers, I realize that they had their own way of supporting us grandkids, and my parents’ efforts to provide a happy and fulfilling childhood.

We met Rosie through her daughter, Colleen, and in picturing Rosie’s grandkids setting up their respective desks and making them their own, I got to thinking how these desks were a gift to Colleen, too. How does it change everyone’s outlook when we can apply ourselves in surroundings that feel like they support our success? One less thing for Colleen and her husband to buy, and maybe it’ll make class time a little easier.

Grandma Rosie’s gift not only transforms the virtual class experience into something special, it does the same for homework and other activities. It gives each grandchild a personalized place to grow into their own person and growing into their own person is just what parents are raising their kids to do. So, in one fell swoop, Rosie’s desks support her grandkids’ and their parents’ (her kids’) dreams.

All of those moments when grandparents (or surrogate grandparents :-) ) silently help us grow…There are probably too many to count, even in the youngest child’s life. For me, I’m only now starting to realize the math.

Go Grandma. And thank you!