Giving Up A Turn Leads To A Win-Win

A surprise envelope gave me unexpected hope

Photo by Branimir Balogović on Unsplash

I grew up with the idea that giving was both noble and necessary for the world.

Charity comes in all forms, and I can remember putting clothes and toys aside for other kids, who lived in other places, with a lot less than I had. Contributing money made me feel very grown-up, and like I was part of something that helped, rather than hurt.

As we all come to find out once we are actually adults, when we donate to a charity, we wind up being contacted often -- by the organization and by other deserving groups. And then come the hard decisions of how much to give and to whom. There doesn’t ever seem to be enough. In those moments of reconciliation, I often long for the simple joy of the single contribution I felt as a child, when I saved up or raised money for a particular cause.

That same sense of feeling torn occurs to me a lot lately, as there are so many needs that go unmet everyday in our community. Which is why a letter I received recently from The Carter Center was so extraordinary. Rather than increase the sense of distress, it gave me such peace and hope. The Carter Center is a US-based nonprofit dedicated to improving life for people in over 80 countries, through conflict resolution, advancing democracy and human rights, preventing disease and improving mental heath care.

I am a proud supporter of their work, but truthfully, I wish The Carter Center would mail me less. I don’t mind hearing from them, and with family of my own working in the nonprofit sector, I understand especially why there are so many appeals throughout the year. It is hard to raise money and harder if you only ask once or twice. While I know the frequent contact is purposeful, I find I cannot respond to every request.

Yet just weeks ago, I received this letter (and bolded a section):

Dear Ms. Bergelson:

As you are well aware, our country is facing a health crisis. Though the behaviors of COVID-19 are not fully known, what we do now makes it a global threat to our physical and economic health.

We all have every confidence that we will come together as a nation and overcome this invisible threat. This virus and its impact must be addressed at every level of government and society. Each of us is gratified at the examples of volunteers and community organizations that have quickly mobilized to help those in need.

It is in this spirit that we ask you to forgo your next gift for the work of The Carter Center and direct it to a local group that is reducing the suffering caused by this pandemic. Each of us asks you to concentrate on the needs of your family, friends, neighbors, and all in your community. Your commitment will help stop this threat.

With thanks and best wishes,

Rosalynn and Jimmy Carter, Founders
Jason Carter, Chair

There have been so many acts of compassion, generosity and humanity in response to current events. It takes courage to risk and to choose to do without, so that someone else may do at all.

The letter relieved me. And it got me thinking, where can I take the pressure off someone else? How can I encourage those who need to focus their energies elsewhere to do so, without guilt, or feeling like they have let anyone down?

Easing UP. That is my personal anthem this month. Finding ways for ease to be a bigger part of my daily MO is my mission. Accountability is still a core value of mine: now it is tempered with compassion and an eye on the bigger picture. The idea of introducing ease in order to elevate what can happen.

So perhaps you’d like to join me in asking the question I find I am asking myself daily: “Whom can I ease UP today and how?”

And remember, sometimes the answer is ourselves